Almost 3 Years...

Okay, it's been almost 3 years since I've posted on here.  I think the last two times I posted I was "inspired" to post something because life was a wild roller coaster of emotions at that time.  Tri just died, there was a stabbing in the ER, and I couldn't imagine how much more crazy life could get.  Well, I guess that's the thing about life.  It's always going to be crazy.  The only thing we have control over is how we personally choose to deal with it. The summer came and went and I still have "gecko" looking skin.  You know, the kind where you can see all the vasculature underneath because it's so stark white.  The last trip I took was in May to The Big Island of Hawaii, and that was 139 days ago.  Here's another string of meaningless dates.  My next trip (it's a secret) isn't scheduled for 31 more days, and that means it will have been 170 days since my last trip. WHAT??? I used to not be able to go 30 days without going somewhere.  My birthday is in 69 days.  We won't discuss what birthday this is for me.  To say I thought I'd be in a different place in my life is a supreme understatement.  Don't get me wrong, I don't regret where I am, the choices that got me here, or what's going on in my life right now...it's just interesting to look back and think I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be.  I guess that goes to show I KNOW NOTHING. So there you have it.  Another, meandering through my brain put out into cyberspace for no one to look at.

LOL Smiley Face...LOL Smiley Face

When Edward and I went to Hawaii this past year there was this really annoying song on the radio that kept playing over and over again. The chorus was...LOL smiley face...LOL smiley face. Annoying...yes, but then it sorta stuck with us and and became this huge joke. Needless to say, in this time of MADNESS I need a little "LOL..smiley face." This post is for Tri and Heather...this particular gorilla puts a huge grin on my face. Love ya both...and Tri, I know you're cracking up over this post.

The loss of a loved one

Okay, so it's been 2+, almost three years since I posted anything on here. I think at this point my blog is a bit outdated, but with that being said I feel right now is the most opportune time to post something. Thus far 2010 has sucked bung. I say that because I one day we lost one of the best people and nurses I have ever known and my workplace became something to fear.

To my dear friend Tri, you are loved here at the ED. I know you were loved by your family and I also know you were loved by many. I don't believe they have computers in heaven, but I believe that you can feel the love all of us are sending your way. You're one of the few people here that was a constant for us, and though we don't understand we must do what you would want. That is...to live each day to the fullest. Once upon a time you told me that you loved to live your life through my travels. So, in honor of you...I'm going to keep traveling. I can't even count the 90+ million things you taught me, but I will try to remember them on a daily basis. I will continue to strive to be the amazing nurse that you were, and I will continue to love people and tell them they were loved. I'll miss you Tri, but in true night shift fashion we're going against the grain and we are going to have a remembering Tri get together that would do you proud.

Big Hugs,
Suz

A new cousin

My cousin Greg and his wife Liz added to the Mosher brood by bringing another adorable girl into the world. Miss Lily now has a little sister, Miss DeLaney. She is very cute and weighed in at 8 lbs 5 oz. Reminds me of when Miss V was born a little over a year ago. Miss Victoria is a big girl now and she and her parents are moving back to texas. I am very, very excited. Can't wait to meet Miss DeLaney in person. She looks like a cutie and if she's anything like her big sister she will be good.

Sometimes

Sometimes it's nice to take a break from the routine and sometimes it is nice when someone can realize that you try to make the routine a little less mundane. Yesterday, not my weekend to work, I worked so that I could be off on tuesday. Needless to say it was quite interesting the "hornet's nest" I walked into. Everyone felt the need to express to me their dissatisfaction with the way the place was run on Saturday night. It's interesting because I'm not really even supposed to be one of the constant charge nurses, but lately it seems I've had to take on that role more than ever. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing it, but sometimes it creates bigger challenges. I am trying. I am really trying but sometimes I feel like people are trying to pummel me. Well, I guess the saying what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Hmmm...that's a good thought.

Roots

Have you ever noticed that whenever something dramatic/traumatic happens we instantly return to our roots? I don't mean neccessarily our roots of family, but that happens sometimes too. More often than not, when I say that I return to my roots I am talking about my friends. Those people whom no me better than I know myself most of the time and whom can challenge me by saying one word. Whenever something happens that I don't like or that completely and utterly rocks my boat...I turn to my roots for explanation. I have to give kudos to this group because they are always there for me and they always have some insight to lend to the situation. Who knows? Anyways, guess I should catch some more zzz's before I'm off to my new "month" of work and the new "me." :)

Today...

Today was one of those days that started out almost perfect. I swam my mile at the gym and even got to catch a glimpse of the sun coming up after the rains stopped here. I went to Starbucks and got coffee before going to work for a training class. Little did i know that I would be blindsided yet again. It's one thing to have to go to work in the middle of the a.m. to take a class, but it's yet another to have to continually deal with the same daunting issue. I'm a loudmouth..I know, big shocker there, but truly I am and sometimes it's definitely to my detriment. Escaping specifics, let's just say I continually feel like the child of the department in this area. Physically and professionally it wears on me. I mean I think I'm pretty good at what I do and I put up with a LOT, but somehow conversations always go back to the same fundamental issue when it comes to me. Needless to say I'm wholly sick of it. God help me to get through this and turn this "teachable moment" into something positive and constructive. I don't know how much longer I can do this or how much I can actually change my perspective, but at this point something has to shift. I guess it just demonstrates how much a "work in progress" all of us truly are.